New Year’s resolutions

First of all, I just need to throw down the wonderful advertising copy from Apple’s 1997 “Think Different” campaign. Why? Because I’m here to inspire.

Here’s to the crazy ones. The misfits. The rebels. The troublemakers. The round pegs in the square holes. The ones who see things differently. They’re not fond of rules. And they have no respect for the status quo. You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them. About the only thing you can’t do is ignore them. Because they change things. They push the human race forward. And while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius. Because the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world, are the ones who do. – Apple

Like Steve Jobs, I admire those who “think different” and I have, for as long as I can remember, aspired to do so myself. Too many square pegs make for a mundane, uninspiring world. Too many people trying to act the same, look the same, and think the same can become tiresome and boring. I hope that you will take this to heart when considering your New Year’s resolutions for 2008. Here are some ideas.

1. Take it easy with the organization. A clean room means your hamper is probably full, and that means it’s time to do a wash. That sucks. A clean desk means you are spending too much time filing and not enough time doing.

2. Put on some extra pounds. For the winter months, the more insulation the better. You want to be warm, not sick. Also, grow a beard and grow out your hair. Santa isn’t stupid.

3. Stick with your own job. No matter how bad it is, someone has to do it. Take one for the team and tough it out.

4. Start smoking cigars. The cigar smoker has been all too seldom seen in this new millennium. Consider bringing back this favorite pastime of Mark Twain, Sigmund Freud, and Scarface. Nothing is more gangster and you know it.

5. Spend more time helping yourself, less time helping others. This might sound shameful and dishonorable, but really – for every minute you spend helping someone else, you are subtracting a minute away from your own life. Make 2008 your year.

Away message

World famous weblog My Thoughts are like Champagne will be on vacay for the week. But it will soon be back and better than ever. Happy Holidays to you and yours (unless you don’t deserve it).

Flying sheets of ice

While driving to work the past 2 mornings, I have witnessed thick sheets of ice soar off tractor-trailers and dive towards the road, narrowly missing my car. Unlike the sight of chunks of snow sliding off cars and splashing if front of my own, the sight of sheets of ice flying in the air, crashing down on the road, is for lack of a better term, f-cking scary (You like how I censor my blog? It’s for the kids. Gotta do it for the kids).

During one such instance yesterday morning, driving 85 mph like every other car on the road, I was certain that one of these sheets of ice was headed directly towards the top of my car. Being my quick-thinking self, I ducked. As the sheet of ice flew several meters above my car, questions entered my mind. Why the hell did I just duck? Was I expecting my car to duck with me? Am I retarded? Well, I only have one explanation for this – I was f-cking scared.

I just had to make sure something was being done to encourage truck drivers to clean off the tops of their trailers. I mean, it may not sound like a big deal, but it has to be one of the most underrated hazards of the season. Apparently, legislation banning ice and snow on cars is still pending for the state of New York. Police are, however, currently handing out tickets for “unsecure loads” to these drivers. For more, see here.