Two consecutive political posts. Even though they are tongue-in-cheek, I can’t do three in a row. The thought of spending more than a half hour thinking about Hillary Clinton makes me nauseous. Plus, I wouldn’t be able to suppress any negative feelings I may or may not have towards her, and I have made it a point to be objective when discussing politics. I’ll go ahead and switch topics now that I’ve lost the blog dedication of Hillary supporters, an estimated 30% of my blog viewing audience.
Whatever – good riddance you three.
I should mention I’m at work right now. That’s how slow it is here at ***** (privacy purposes). So right now I’m pretending that I write a blog for a living, in which case I am being very productive right now. In fact, I’m going to go take 15.
Okay, back. I have a boring job that does not require ANY creativity or writing skills. I ended up here because good jobs often require impressive interviews, and impressive interviews often require an outgoing, well spoken, and determined interviewee.
I am definitely determined. But this is hard to communicate without the outgoing and well spoken part. I communicate well (I like to think) with the written word. Orally…not so much. The owner of an employment/talent agency once told me I talk like I “just smoked a doob.”
Most people say that you need to “act” on an interview. You need to show a certain vibrancy and sense of determination. Well I’m not an actor. I’m a writer. I’ve tried to be that “outgoing, ambitious college grad.” I soon fall back into my own personality. It’s me. I’m hard working and determined to be successful. You can even stick the word “very” into that sentence two or three times. But I’m humble, honest, and mellow. I ain’t vibrant.
Many might disagree, but in my opinion, the work ethic and potential of a young man or woman should be gauged by academic record. College is the ultimate opportunity to slack off; if you went to a good college, took challenging courses, and graduated with a solid GPA, you are intelligent, diligent, and determined to succeed. Interviews should be for the purpose of making sure the applicant has a positive attitude, seems serious about his interest in the position, doesn’t smell like sewage, and doesn’t have an annoying and/or arrogant personality.
I’ve had a few interviewers ask me the right questions. Usually the younger ones. “What are your interests?” “What bands do you like?” “What teams do you root for?” Conversational questions. Personality questions. Questions that define how well you will fit in and how well you will work with your coworkers so that a positive work environment is created or maintained.
And then comes the Director. The stern-faced fifty-year-old woman with stress wrinkles and no soul. She wants you to make her BELIEVE that you are the right person for the position. Why are you the perfect fit? Give three examples. What are your greatest strengths? Why?
The person who is best able to embellish their personal strengths while sitting up straight and making direct eye contact wins. On your mark. Get set…
F-cking shit.
