Twitter killed my blog

It looks like I haven’t posted anything here since January 24th. So I’ll start by thanking everyone who has been checking this site daily since my last post. Daily. None of you weekly-checking sons of bitches.

That reminds me – I think my new favorite phrase is “Son of a…” It’s child friendly. It gets some anger out while not including the actual curse, and it doesn’t sound lame. This is rare. If one attempts to repress a curse in another manner, he or she might be found exclaiming, “Oh poopy!” or “Fiddlesticks!” That shit will get you slapped.

So I’ve come to realize that I forgot about my blog because of Twitter. I joined Twitter in February, so it’s likely the cause. On the big T-bird, as I just decided to call it, I post random thoughts or links to articles daily. Previously, I probably would have blogged about a few of these ideas. What is disconcerting here is that I now realize that my thoughts can actually be expressed in 140 characters or less. I guess they’re not very elaborate. Ha.

If you’re wondering why I’m on Twitter, then you probably aren’t on it. If you are on Twitter, you’ve probably found that there is something there for everyone. I joined in order to learn more about advertising from industry professionals. Recently, however, I’m following more of a sophisticated crowd – people who make jokes about stuff like poop, sex and Tiger Woods. Some of these guys/girls are better than others. (Sween, for example, is brilliant and has a billion followers.) Making people laugh in 140 characters or less is an art, and fortunately for me, learning this art will only help in developing my copywriting skills. Headline writing must often be short and punchy. I read jokes and consider it work-related is what I’m saying here.

So that’s why I haven’t blogged since January. On Twitter, I can learn a lot and express my thoughts in a more condensed manner. It’s easier to write a quick line on the big T-bird than to write a long blog post like this. In closing, this entire post likely could have been summed up in a quick line. “Twitter killed my blog. Son of a…”

Recycle THIS

I am sick of this “go green” sh-t.

Seriously, green used to be my second favorite color, but I am so tired of hearing it in phrases like “go green,” “live green” and “think green” that I believe white now follows blue on my list of hue faves. And don’t tell me white is not a color, because then what is it, a flavor? Only in a bag of jelly beans…

I have seen “go green” more than any other phrase over the past year. I have seen it on garbage cans, shopping bags, web ads, and TV commercials. I have seen it on sweat shirts, t-shirts and jean skirts. I saw my cat, Smokey, give me a dirty look when I threw a recyclable water bottle in the trash. Then Smokey told me to get a Brita filter because of all the valuable natural resources used by plastic water bottle manufacturers.

I think it’s time for this green movement to fade to black. It has become so in-your-face main stream that I fear rappers will start associating green with the environment instead of money. It’s become such a tired cliche that I can’t even watch a Jets game anymore, fearing chants of “Go Green.” I believe consumers get the point; now America needs to cut back the green talk or I’ll start filling Smokey’s water dish with Dasani.

AM I RIGHT?

Mythology comes to life… sort of

A rare “unicorn deer” found in a Tuscany nature preserve has been getting a lot of media attention lately, and I am happy to bring you this news three days late.

The roe – cleverly named “Unicorn” – has a single horn protruding from the center of its forehead, which I guess makes the creature mildly intriguing. But clearly everyone has to be a little disappointed that this wasn’t a horse. That’s what a unicorn is, and horses don’t even have horns, so the animal would be way cooler than a “unicorn deer.”

In short, I say “Yawn.” Wake me up when they find the deer pictured below, which I call “Dragon.” Dragon deer are way more uncommon than unicorn deer, but far more dangerous. Which makes them, of course, more awesome.