Recycle THIS

I am sick of this “go green” sh-t.

Seriously, green used to be my second favorite color, but I am so tired of hearing it in phrases like “go green,” “live green” and “think green” that I believe white now follows blue on my list of hue faves. And don’t tell me white is not a color, because then what is it, a flavor? Only in a bag of jelly beans…

I have seen “go green” more than any other phrase over the past year. I have seen it on garbage cans, shopping bags, web ads, and TV commercials. I have seen it on sweat shirts, t-shirts and jean skirts. I saw my cat, Smokey, give me a dirty look when I threw a recyclable water bottle in the trash. Then Smokey told me to get a Brita filter because of all the valuable natural resources used by plastic water bottle manufacturers.

I think it’s time for this green movement to fade to black. It has become so in-your-face main stream that I fear rappers will start associating green with the environment instead of money. It’s become such a tired cliche that I can’t even watch a Jets game anymore, fearing chants of “Go Green.” I believe consumers get the point; now America needs to cut back the green talk or I’ll start filling Smokey’s water dish with Dasani.

AM I RIGHT?

Mythology comes to life… sort of

A rare “unicorn deer” found in a Tuscany nature preserve has been getting a lot of media attention lately, and I am happy to bring you this news three days late.

The roe – cleverly named “Unicorn” – has a single horn protruding from the center of its forehead, which I guess makes the creature mildly intriguing. But clearly everyone has to be a little disappointed that this wasn’t a horse. That’s what a unicorn is, and horses don’t even have horns, so the animal would be way cooler than a “unicorn deer.”

In short, I say “Yawn.” Wake me up when they find the deer pictured below, which I call “Dragon.” Dragon deer are way more uncommon than unicorn deer, but far more dangerous. Which makes them, of course, more awesome.

Hiatus

My weblog is undergoing current inactivity. Please be patient as I try to find an apartment, as you know that I would be equally as patient if you were trying to find an apartment. But let me leave you tonight with the following quote:

“In a world of hope, happiness prevails.”

I just made that up like two nights ago while washing my hands for dinner. I think it sounds pretty important. If you ever use it, be sure to credit it to me. (I go by “Anonymous.”)